What to Do If You “Don’t Know What to Do”

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I hear it every day. “I don’t know what to do to help.” “I don’t wan’

t to say/do the wrong thing.” “I’m afraid to mess up.”

Too often these words are nothing more than an excuse to do nothing. They are a dose of paralytic fear that serves no one, least of all the Black Womxn that white women claim to want to be in solidarity with. Here is the thing. You don’t have to move worlds. You don’t have to save us. You are not supposed to. Your main job is to work on your own internalized mess and through that awakening you will become less damaging and dangerous to us. Your process of unpacking and unlearning must also include restoring the balance destroyed by white supremacy and repairing the historic trauma that continues in the present. How? Remember the pebble in the pond metaphor? Here are some pebbles you can toss:

  1. Find Black Womxn to follow on social media then PAY them for their work. Here’s a quick starter list for you: Brown Betty  Desiree Lynn Adaway Bloom Three Token Brown Girls
  2. Stop “picking our brains.” Consult Black Womxn for whatever it is you need then PAY them for their work. Have an event coming up? Look for Black Womxn Entrepreneurs, healers, teachers, etc. to fill your needs.
  3. Don’t just heart emoji a Black Womxn’s art. Purchase it.
  4. Don’t just love her poetry. Compensate her intellectual/creative work.
  5. Purchase gift cards for spa services, coffee, meals, groceries, Lyft, and Uber. Keep them on hand and be an undercover faery. If you don’t know any Black Womxn personally, you got some unpacking and work to do. And for the love of the Goddess, don’t create fanfare–you defeat the whole purpose of the gesture.
  6. Find out who your local Black Womxn led organizations are and start donating.
  7. In your workplace, in your meeting spaces,  LOOK UP. Who is in the room, with you? Speak less. Listen more.
  8.  Research Black Womxn authors. BUY their books and then buy a copy for the Black Womxn you know. If you don’t know any Black Womxn see number 5.
  9. Share our content. Share our information. Share our businesses. Do not dismiss the power of your reach as a white woman.
  10. Hit. Them. Pay. Links. Many of us are out here writing, creating, dreaming, birthing and you are consuming and ignoring those paypal and venmo links on our pages. Stop it. Click through and compensate us.



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